Lauren, Baby Olivia & Joe

     Okay, so it has been a super long time since I last updated. I doubt that it is goign to be a very long update, because the stupid computer always freezes and takes forever o show that I have typed. Not much has happened since then. Olivia is growing up, pretty fast! I am still job seeking, unforunatly with no such luck of find a job yet! I have decided however that I am going to go back to scchool in September. I am going to goto Blossom Park, the Adult school. I can get up to 11 credits in one school year, which 11 is all I need. So it seemed pretty perfect for me! I cant put Olivia in Subsidized day care. Which will likely only be about 2 blocks away from Blossom Park.

     If you are wondering what happened to me being in the online schooling. Well this year I picked 4 courses instead of 3 and I picked harder ones. I gave up not ot long ago, as I was way behind on shedule and failing. Correse or online scholling is so much n an actual classroom with the one on one with your teachers. So I completely commend people who have complteed their school that route!

    Anyways I am sorry about all the typos but the computer is really pissing me off, so I must go now! Ciao everyone!

x0x0xLaurenx0x0x0

 

      I've been meaning to add this, but dredging it too, because this computer is so damn slow, and it always freezes when I come on here. Two nights ago now, Olivia was being a ham in the bath tub. I let her play for a while, because she loves the bath a lot!! Anyways when I decided it was time to get out, I proceeded to take her out of the bath as she tried to attack my hand with her teeth ( she does that a lot now). I was home a lone, so I only had time to grab a diaper. I put her diaper on  then I went to get her some PJ's. Walking to her bedroom I  remembered that I didnt close the bathroom door , nor did I turn the light out. I ran to the bathroom, but it was too late.  This is what I saw!

 

     Okay so I am a total slacker too.  So much has happened since I last updated. A ne wyear has started, the holidays have come and gone, and Nanny passed away. Her funeral was yesterday. And it was the first time I have ever been to a funeral or have had anyone close to me die. It was hard. And I had never seen grampi cry before. And when when we were at the hospital visiting Nanny the first time before everything went horribly wrong, she was very scared and she cried a lot to, which was also the very first time I had ever seen my Nanny cry. Im just listeing to the music channels on my digital cable box, and this song just came on by maroon five-  Wont go home without you. And if you have a program to download music, I suggest listening to it. The words remind me of Nanny and grampi, and im sure how he felt without her. I guess I always took my grandparents for granted. To sit here and think back to all the fun great times we had with them as kids, I am so grateful that they were my grandparents. I do however feel like an asshole because for their birthdays and anniversary I never sent cards or called as much as I should of to thank them for their gifts to us. Even the smallest of gesture was so appreciated by them. I do know grampi needs all the love and support he can get from his family as he goes through this. He is balming himself and thinks he killed her. He told Joe that he was a coward and told mom it was his fault.. I am going to truly miss her and I will never have such a great inspiring person in my life again.

 

     Aside from that, we did move back into town. we have had a few problems with water leakage adn the day we got the gas hooked up the hot water tank blew adn we were without hot water for about 4 or 5 days which was a pain and gross. But its fixed now. The toilet also hasd a small leak around the bottom of it, which is also fixed now. And then again with the rain last night Olivias room got wet. So the landlord is coming to fix the roof this weekend, Thank god! I just hope it  doesnt rain again before then, and that I didnt decided to change her crib to the other side of her room, or she would of got soaked last night!

 

     I added some new pics of the new place. But I must go becuase it has taken me atleast 30 mins to write this entry cus  the computer keeps freexzing cuz I guess I type to fast for it! Ciao everyone! Love you! Take care!

 

LMFAo. okay well I just randomly clicked on the link to this blog, (after taking the time to creat and edit a new one) and ITS BACK!

Im not going to feel really special or happy, because I am to lazy to go through all my pictures and delete the "code of conduct" ones that I am breaking... So I have no reason why the decied to give me my blog back. I would of thought that they would of delete the picstures or something on terms of reopening my blog... No clue... Or maybe someone was felling really nice to give it back to me , considering the X mas holiday coming up and stuff...

If you read amandas new blog you would know my Nanny isnt doing to well AGAIN... Just to much of a rollar coaster...  But I cant get upset over it, anything could change at any  tmie, and I know that.... Just have to wait it out to see what will happen.. She knows we all love her and, I even bought her an angel pin holding a pink heart, which stands for faith, because we have all had SOOO much faith and love in her...

But I gotta go to bed, Got a long day ahead of me tomorrow... and so does everyone else...

Merrry CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

x0x0xLaurenx0x0x

 

OHya the new link to my new blog (just incase this one randomly dissapears again is

      Well if you are all visiting Amandas blog, you would of found out already my Nanny is  doing slightly better. We got to see her finally in the ICU on Sunday. I was a little over wellmed, I wasnt knowing exactly what to expect. She was so swollen from retianing all her urin while in the coma. But apparently her swelling has gone down. I ordered hre a faith angel pin from Avon. So hopefulyl when she gets out of the hospital she will be able to wear it. Im so happy she is finally showing improvements again, and I really hope nothing sets her back again. She deserves to get well more than anything!

 

      My grandpa seems to be in such high spirits. He was cracking jokes and being a goof as always saying funny things in his British accent. lol. With the whoo- dinger, and what-chya-ma-call-it, in thingy'ma-jig! lol.. Hes to funny sometimes. And he is way to generous. He gave us an early christmas cheque and between Olivia and I i got a $200. So, I decided to put it to good use and write my license. So I wnet yesterday and I got slanndered because I only have my old health card, from when I was born, the red and white one? Well my mother signed in. So because my signiature wasnt on it and I dont have a status card or pass port I have to now get my doctor to fill out a form for me, then find someone to watch Olivia while I go write it again. I bought Olivia some more Christmas presents and wrapped them up today. I bought her an adorable little disney princess kitchen from Walmart which was regular $70-80, and it was on for $40. But I had bought her a no-name one for the same price liek 2 weeks ago, and I am still yet to return it. I am planning on doing her room in Disney theme, pink and princess's at the new place.

 

     Oh yes did I forget to mention that we got a new place and are moving in Jan first, or hopefully before then!!! Isnt that awesome, its main floor, IN TOWN, and we get the garage and our own washer and dryer hook up in the basement. We have a fneced in back yard also. Its $525 plus, so I imagine we will be paying a little bit more out a month then the other place. But it will be so much better.

 

     Im about really to kill Joe though. We were finally cuaght up on our rogers bills and it was good with Christmas approaching soon. Yesterday we got out tv and internet bill which was $240... And $146 worth of it was spent on PPV channels and 11 of them were $9.99 which are the pornos. He knows how I feel about shit like that, not to mention its a HUGE waste of money and i was livid. Im calmer about the situation now, but to me its just no responsible, and it hurt me because he lied about it at first. I dont know why he lies, he always gets busted, and who the hell else would it have been.. They were all ordered at times he was home. So when we move cable and interent isnt geting hooked up till we pay rogers off and we will get just regular cable, I dont want the digital box because they there is tempation there to buy  dirty movies. We can get a membership down the street and rent movies. Nice family oriented ones... No narly ones!

haha

 

     Anyways so with Christmas approaching soon, our pictures are ready for pick up today and Joe will be getting them after work, so I will be mailing them away tomorrow! So be waiting for yours! lol. P>S> Shawn I am still waiting for Darbys pics? lol. Hopefully soon!

 

     My first AVON order should be in tomorrow or Friday, not to sure exactly. But im kinda of excited, I ordered a few things for myself but didnt sell enough to make much out of it at all. Also, Z, in order for me to get a membership for my own personal website I have to pay $15  per year, I know its not much, but It shall be up and running soon, ( after christmas). Then you and Shawn can order from me. lol.

 

ANyways I better get going, I have laundry to do today! So talk to you all later!!!

x0x0xLaurenx0x0x

    

     Now I know this may sound selfish of me, but maybe its not. Unfortunatly we keep getting bad news about my Nanny. Almost a month back now, her and my grampi were in a bad car wreck, the car was totalled and they were T-boned while in a small toyota echo by a large pick-up truck. My Nanny's side of the car took all the impact, and so did her body. They have taken such excellent care of their health a very long time in their lives. And thats all I beleive she has besides our love on her side to help her get better. She sustained multiple injuries and was in the ICU for 2 weeks in that time she had been revived twice. She got moved to a warding room and picked up a chest infection, causing her heart to weaken and move her back into the ICU. She has been put on life support and is now fighting for her life. Im scared that if she doesnt make it, my grampi wont be far behind her, as he is already falling apart, and told my Daddy that if she doesnt make it he will have nothing to live for.  I really hope she will get better and that the antibiotics start working and working fast to make her better and give her the strength to keep living. If not, this upcoming holiday will be ruined for me forever!

     My grandparents are a great set of role models they have been together since my Nanny was 16 and my Grampi was 19. Together for 60 years and married for 58!!! They are just as inlove as they were when they first met. My Grampi is taking a lot of guilt and blaming himself for all of this. But that is why they call it an accident. We all know he didnt mean for this to happen. And he probably wishes it was him in the hospital, but its not.

     Last Monday we went  to visit her in the warding room, because we wernet allowed to see her while she was in the ICU, only immediate family. Anyhow it was a nice visit, but Nanny still wasnt Nanny and she was very emotional talking about the past and sharing stories with us of when we were little. We hear of how Nanny and Grampi met and fell inlove. She kept takling of marrage and wanting everyone to be happy and married, (like her and Grampi). Its frightening how 2 days after we left she gets very critically ill again. It was almost as though she knew this was going to happen and now she has said her peice with everyone, and is now ready to go. But I dont want her to. I need her, we all do.

    It will be a shame if this is what takes her life, because she has been to healthy and taken care of herself. She doesnt deserve this, no one does.

    Anyways, I decided to get some pics of Olivia developed and mail them up to my Nanny because she loves getting cards, letters and pictures in the mail. I sent it today so hopefully she gets them soon. Here are some nice Christmas ones I made. We are also going to get out family portraits done tonight at Walmart and should get them back in 3 weeks time to mail them away before Christmas comes. Its too soon.

 

                                                             

 

 

 

Im out for not everyone!

x0x0xLaurenx0x0x

     Okay so its been a  while and here is my much needed update. A lot has been going one, and Joe is likely goin to kill me when he sees i've posted this. Things havnt been going so well latley.... We have been fighting a lot more recently, mostly about money. I am sick of never be able to have a say in what goes on around here. The stress of living in this dump  and being stranded here all the time is also really getting to me. Im sick of feeling asthough Im wasting time again, before I know it Christmas will be here and Olivias second birthday  will have some and gone. But, where will I stand? What will I have acomplished? Im so tired of feeling totally reliant on Joe. Now, this isnt becuase I want to prove I can make it without him, because thats not the case at all. We arnt going to breka it off completely, but I do need to remove myself from this situation. Maybe by not breaking it off completly will make the situation worse, I dont know. I hope not though. What I do know is that I cant live like this anymore, and becuase things anrt going to change on their own , I must take action. To help reach my goals and persue my own happiness for Olivia and I.

   

     Now, a lot of you may not agree with what I am about to say I am going to do, becase , really I dont want to do it either, but it will help me out temporaially untill I finish up my school and get a decent job to contribute to my family. I know Welfare, yes welfare is going to be really hard, becuase they only give you enough to get by, ( and im stressed about money already)which sucks. But this is what I need to do, and I refuse to move back home, because I know my mom isnt having the best money situations either, and I know I am wearing out my welcome by dong laundry there everyweek and asking my mother for things. Also, moving home isnt going to help me out with my need for independance.

 

     And dont say I havnt been looking into it enough and I dont know what I am getting myself into or anything. But I do, I totally do. Im just torn between Joe whom I love, and my true independance. Say things dont work out, what am I doing to do? What if it is him that wants to leave me, and im totally not expecting it? I'd be 100% lost. So this I need to do. I also dont want things to get any worse between us to the point where it may not be mendable. So I plan to make an appointment sometime soon with Ontario works and figure some thigns out, I also feel guilty, becuase a lot of the furniture and stuff is mine, and I dont want to leave Joe with nothing, becuase I still do care about him, beleive it or not.

 

     This is super hard for me. And I hope everyone can try to understand what I am going through. I dont want to be judged becuas eI will be a welfare bum. But think about it honestly, a lot of people rip the governemt off and sit on their asses all day and do nothing. At least I am willing to focus and work on my future so I dont have to be one of those bums stuck on welfare all their lives.

    Ciao for now everyone.

x0x0xLaurenx0x0x